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Partners
How does Michael Bay get it so wrong so consistently?
Here's how the film works. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy goes missing, presumed dead. Boy's best friend falls in love with same girl. Boy returns to find he is involved in a love triangle. Girl is confused, and is torn between boy and boy's best friend. Brief clip of Pearl Harbour being bombed. Anyway, back to this love triangle, completely unaffected by the supposed reason for making this film. Girl still can't decide, and starts playing silly games. Lots of people we were never introduced to die after we haven't had enough to time start caring about them. Cuba Gooding Junior is on screen for more than four seconds, and he gets to fire a big gun. That way, the African American who is just a cook gets to play his part too. America launch a completely historically incorrect, gung-ho attack on Tokyo, which is portrayed as wonderful and heroic, less than an hour after the evil Japanese pilots bombed Pearl Harbour, oh and no mention of either of the nuclear bombs in case that makes America look bad. Some very contrived shots of an American flag... wait which one was he? One of them seems to have died, but that's just helped the girl make her decision.
Yup... just when you thought Michael Bay couldn't make a worse film than Armageddon, he proves you all wrong! He again takes a horrific, this time historical event, and uses it as an excuse to make a love story, where the event itself plays second fiddle and is only very briefly shown. So here's a few things you can do in three hours that will be more enjoyable than watching this film: 1 - paint a wall, then watch the paint dry. 2 - pluck your head hairs one at a time until you create a bald patch. 3 - sit doing absolutely nothing except occasionally saying 'That's not how it happened at all.' At least that way you're not having to endure actually watching the film. It should be -23 stars, not +1. By far this is the worst film of all time. |
