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Legion
herine Bray
The Christian god has been the subject of many films of varying quality and scope. Where Legion gets it right is in correctly divining that dramatic manna from heaven is likelier found in the wrathful version 1.0 deity of the Old Testament than in the fluffier cast-not-the-first-stone sequel edition. Given to plagues, vengeance, apocalyptic temper tantrums and mad sacrificial requests, old school Jehovah has the potential to make conventional baddies like Hannibal Lecter look like angry kittens.
Legion is set mostly in a diner in the back of beyond the night infinite forgiveness got old and smiting came back into style. This Assault On Precinct 13 meets Book of Revelation concept should have made for some striking action sequences at the very least, but unfortunately no credible effort is made to solve that old problem of many a superhero movie: once you've set your villain up as the biggest badass in town, how do you defeat him without undermining the credibility of your original claims about the threat he represents? It's not a difficulty Legion comes close to solving, because while they would certainly qualify as impressive for a human, for an all-powerful being, god's attempts to bring on the end of days are basically a bit rubbish.
He does unleash a decent demonic granny, but she's not going to ruffle too many feathers if you've seen the Nanageddon episode of 'The Mighty Boosh'. There's a plague of a million flies at one point, but again, if you've ever visited the loos at a sunny music festival, you've been there done that. The plague boils are a nice set piece, but affect just one guy, and he's played by a chap who looks like actor Peter Gallagher only with less amazing eyebrows - and when you can only afford to hire someone who bears a passing resemblance to American Beauty's Real Estate King, nobody imagines he'll be making it through the whole movie. All in all, for agents of the all-mighty, the hordes dispatched against our heroes are dispiritingly killable.
Ah yes, our heroes. They're a fairly forgettable bunch. Paul Bettany, auditioning rather effectively for replacement James Bond should anything happen to Daniel Craig, is streets ahead of the rest as rebel angel Michael. Michael is determined to protect heavenly vessel, Charlie (Adrianne Palicki), a pregnant waitress apparently carrying the new messiah inside her, who will redeem mankind when he grows up. It is left unexplained whether god created this messiah, and if so, why he's trying to kill him. And if not, from whence his divinity derives; perhaps he's not the messiah, but simply a very naughty boy.
Legion has its entertaining moments, but feels like an unstructured spectacle film in desperate need of more money for spectacle and more script work on the dull bits between showdowns. With apologies to Spinal Tap, it's a film that prompts the question: what day did the lord create Legion, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?
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